is my friend. It tells me all I need to know about things I care about but no one else in their right mind would care so much for it that they would spend hours with it. I have nothing but food blogs in my reader. But anyway, I sink it is an ingenious invention…and I made my first legitimate music purchase 2 days ago since 2002 o.O wow. that is a long time ago. I have stolen so much music since then…er…I don’t know if I should end this sentence with a “haha” or not. I’m leaning toward not.
I need to give thanks to God today! Today has been a bad day. I overlapped appointments with people because I am forgetful so I had to cancel one…I hate canceling appointments that aren’t doctor appointments. except then my other study appointment today canceled on me, so i can reclaim my other appointment with my other person. I am all over the place. I am like butter spread thin on a hot potato that ends up running all into the cracks and over the edges making a big buttery mess. I think I’m just hungry right now. I’m at work right now awaiting the results of an experiment I’m running… *30 minutes later*…and2/3 samples turned out negative. crap. the same thing happened yesterday so today was supposed to be hopeful 
but nothing works the way you want it all the time. I think I’m gonna have to get used to this…failure and disappointment thing, and also get used to the giving thanks thing even though I don’t feel good about anything at the moment. Usually I can tell when I’m feeling thankful, because there’s just this happy feeling in my gut. My gut is not feeling happy. It is feeling hungry. There’s a recurring theme of food here…I feel ridiculous. Delirious. Frrrazzled from a long week….I was dropping important things left and right today and my brain was missing.
Oops. Almost forgot about giving thanks:
After 4.5 months of volunteering ~11 hours/week at the lab they decided they are going to pay me. And my bosses said they like me. I hope it stays that way.
… why is it so hard to give thanks when I’m a grump. I was riding on the happy cloud 2 days ago because of my official job-acquisition, and I definitely still am happy about it, just not as ecstatic and thankful as when I first found out. Because 2 days later, I found out everything will not stay happy-go-lucky forever.
feelings of happiness = thanksgiving
Oh yes, there is a difference between feeling thankful and being thankful. But is being without feeling genuine and authentic and hip? I dunno. I think this just takes practice.
