When I think of listening and discerning the spirit, I get the image of a blind person in a huge room that’s like a maze, but a lot bigger so the person can’t feel their way around. There are sounds all around, but he has to pick out the one sound that is the one guiding him in the correct direction. So he must listen carefully. I’m coming to a point where I’m getting nervous about grad school applications, building my resume, and recommendation letters. The last one is my biggest fear. I hate asking for favors. I also don’t know how to tell my friends I seriously want to spend my spring break studying for the GRE. The life of a people-pleaser.
Well, I think I’m never going to have enough time to study for everything as thoroughly as I should. Though my schedule this quarter is very condusive for studying. I have so many ridiculous gaps where it’s not enough time to go home to nap or whatever. So here I am, on campus still, waiting for my 5:30 ochem lab-bleh-. It’s scheduled to end at 8:18 PM most days X( X( X(.
Back to the title. So the question is, is the academic career path I’m proceeding on now the one God is trying to lead me to? That question has been barely existent in the very very back of my mind for about 2 years now and I think that’s long enough. And really, this should require a lot of prayer even if I was 99.99% sure about what I was doing. So I think it’s about time to sit at the feet of Jesus, have a long, long heart-to-heart that extends over a period of a lifetime, and to start listening. Carefully.
